Making the Bed and Thinking About My Mama

This morning as I was doing the thing I do every morning, making the bed, I was suddenly overcome with a desire to talk with my mama.  She's been gone for too many years.  It's just not fair that I don't get to spend time with her as a grown up me.  Because the younger, immature version of me often had a hard time with that.  As a teenager, I was self absorbed and hormonal, behaving irrationally most of the time.  Not good qualities for bonding with parents.  I married young and moved away, adding physical distance to the mix.  When I became a mother myself, I was ready to have a close relationship with her, but was only given a short window of opportunity before she had her stroke.  After that, the mother I knew was lost to me.  It was my turn to help take care of her whenever I could.

It's so weird that making the bed, would make me think of her, because of all her fine qualities, and she had many, keeping a clean and tidy home was not one of them.  She was more into the "cluttered and very lived in" look.  Now that I understand personality types better, I realize this was part of her profile.  She was an extrovert who thrived on social interaction, the life of any party, and staying home and cleaning house probably was low on her priority list.   I believe it's true that we are born with distinct personality traits and even though I am my mother's daughter, I am the complete opposite in this regard.  I can remember when I was in middle school, she had planned a "surprise" pajama party for my birthday.  I was excited to have my friends over, and spent the day before they came cleaning the house. ( Are you kidding?  Who does that at twelve years old?!   I'll tell you.  Little girls who are destined to become type A control freaks!)  Of course she knew that I was on to her plan, but when the time came for the party, I acted completely surprised.  I will say in her defense, while I was cleaning the bathroom, she was probably whipping up an amazing cake and party foods.  That woman could cook anything! 

On a normal morning, making the bed, for me, is as quick and easy as brushing my teeth.  A firmly entrenched habit that I have down to a science,  I've even learned how to completely make one side of the bed before going to the other .  This is the most efficient way to get the job done, and I'm all into efficiency.   But today was the "strip the bed down to the mattress and change the sheets day", a task that I really dread.  It takes longer  than normal and bending over and lifting the mattress,  hurts my aging back.   As I was working, thoughts of mama flooded my mind and I just smiled, thinking how after all these years, I still make the bed the way she taught me.  She may not have made her own bed every day, but somewhere along the way, she taught me, what she felt was  the "proper" way to make a bed, tucking in the flat sheet down at the bottom, just so, complete with mitered corners.  

Later in the day as I was putting clean towels away, there she was again.  I fold my towels the way my mother folded her towels.  Ok, darn it.  I guess it's just time to sit down and have a good cry, because I miss my mama!  Maybe the adult me is a little hormonal too.

Family life is so interesting.  The simple, often mundane things we do day in and day out influence us more than we realize.  When making a bed or folding towels can revive sweet memories between a mother, who has passed through the veil to her daughter on the other side, then those activities become much more than chores on a to-do list.  They become sacred ties that bind.  I look forward to the day when I'll see my mom again.  Until then, I'm finding that if I look closely,  I see hints of her presence all around me, possibly even a slight reflection when I look into the mirror. 

And then there are my own children.  What will they remember?  Because deep down inside, you know your mother is always with you.

The Good

First Monday counting... 
                                    when I share entries from my Gratitude Journal

"...there is nothing which is good save it comes from the Lord..."

Omni 1:25

151- stripes and polka dots

152- my first three mile run
153- springlike weather
154- a gift of spring bulbs waiting to bloom
155- a new calling at church

156- grocery shopping with a friend
157- new pens
158- pesto hummus and pita points
159- apple butter spread thickly on toast
160- clementine zest

161- holding hands and saying prayers
162- a chorus of birds singing in the early morning
163- clouds in the valley
164- wrapping spring rolls
165- minestrone on a cold rainy day

166- Carol's cactus in bloom
167- the smell of buttermilk
168- pancakes for supper
169- bluebirds peeking in the windows
170- Monday morning "walking and talking"

171- flowers on road sides
172- instagram feed flooded with sunset pictures
173- raindrops on daffodils
174- a new apron
175- preparing the seder plate and teaching it's
 significance to a group of young girls

176- a heart wrenching Good Friday service
177- making hot cross buns
178- worshipping in the temple
179- parting the Red Sea for primary children
180- a new daisy planted by dad

181- a forgiving husband
182- a cute girl by Jantzen's side
183- phone visit with my sister
184- fresh flowers for the porch
185- first presidency meeting

186- listening to happy children squealing with
 laughter as they run through the woods
187- lamb in the crockpot
188-chocolate peanut butter eggs
189- stepping out the front door and listening to the owls
190- a pretty Easter table

191- LaWren's lemon tart
192- singing "Christ the Lord is Risen Today"
 from the top of Jump Off Rock
193- sitting by Micah's grave feeling
grateful for the resurrection
194- Easter!  The most glorious of holidays.
195- Happy Easter texts from friends and family

196- watching ducks play tag
197- a lady who looks at me and smiles every 
time we pass on the walking trail
198- flowers from Kenzie
199- General Conference
200- triple lemon layer cake

March, Date Nights and Preparing for Easter- A Daybook Entry

Outside my window... It's rainy, windy and forty-four degrees.  Yesterday, it was sunny and twenty degrees warmer.  This is why March is not my favorite month. If it weren't for daffodils and forsythia, I would say we could just skip it all together. 

I am wearing... yoga pants and top, fleece jacket and tennis shoes. I start each day in exercise clothes, with the intention that if I'm dressed for the activity, I have a better chance of actually doing it. Sometimes I end the day that way too.  

I'm listening to... the mechanical sounds of a house and nothing else, at the moment.  I love a quiet afternoon.  This morning I listened to a very interesting podcast on TED Radio Hour about the ways we communicate with each other. ( The episode was March 13th Spoken and Unspoken)  Along those same lines was this podcast about talking more and using technology less in our families.  You should listen just to hear the staggering statistics she offers. 

I'm thankful for... a house for Travis and Becca, a stitched up cut on a finger that wasn't as bad as it could have been, purple flowers, sunsets and frozen lemonade. ( Have you tried the frozen lemonade at Chick fil A?)  

Around the house... I've been decluttering bookshelves, cabinets and closets.  One of the Lenten practices that I enjoy is cleaning a small area each day.  Just one drawer or cabinet, maybe a bookshelf or closet.  I keep the action small, so it doesn't take too much time. While tidying up my physical surroundings, especially those hidden from view, I think about those hidden sins that might need to be cleaned up in my heart.  Spring cleaning the inner vessel, if you will.  I find that when I ask the Lord to help me recognize sin in my own life, he will show me where I need to start and what changes I need to make.  

From the kitchen... 

We had an Irish dinner for St. Patrick's Day.  Corned beef and cabbage with Irish Soda bread.  Key Lime Cupcakes for dessert. We had the missionaries over for dinner that evening and having been trained well by their mothers, they ate everything I offered them, but I think they liked those green cupcakes the best!

In the garden... I've cleaned out the weeds from three of my raised beds and checked on the garlic.  I have kale ready to plant, thanks to a friend who's been growing little plants from seed. It's time to till the garden for onion and potato planting.  I had hoped to get that done this weekend, but with the cold snap forecasted... I don't know if it will happen.  

I'm loving... date nights.  At the beginning of the year, I asked my husband if we could reinstate date nights.  After thirty some years of marriage, we had gotten out of the habit and found ourselves in a rut.  I was feeling bored and thought this would be good for our relationship.  And I was right on with this one!  Every week since January, we've had a date night (or sometimes day, depending on the activity).  We take turns choosing activities.  Last week, we went to Carl Sandburg and hiked around with the dogs.  It was a beautiful sunny day and it felt great to be outside.  Sometimes we go out to a restaurant or concert, or stay in and order pizza and watch a movie, play backgammon by the fire or have massage nights!  It doesn't matter so much what we do, but that we consistently choose to spend time together.  I really look forward to the weekends and our dates!

I'm reading... The Gift of the Atonement, The Cloister Walk, Little Britches, Under the Tuscan Sun and Getting Things Done.  I just started The Girl on a Train on Audible this morning while I was driving around town doing my errands.  It's  a pretty eclectic group of titles, but I like to have a book for every mood and time of the day.  Something spiritual for early morning, some kid lit for the treadmill, nonfiction for snippets of daytime reading and fiction for before bed.  Always fiction before bed.  I know it's a weird way to read, but it seems to work for me.

I'm creating... a baby blanket.  Still, working on the baby blanket.  With general conference coming up, I will listen to the talks and work those needles. I have until July to finish this project, but it would be so nice to finish it up next weekend.  I'm ready to move on to something else.

I'm learning... the Getting Things Done way of becoming organized.  It's supposed to revolutionize the way you approach projects and free your mind for creative pursuits.  I'm still reading and in the beginning phases of setting things up right now.  I'll let you know how it works out.

30 Day Challenge...  for March has been trying to get in 10,000 steps a day with my Fitbit.  Just having the goal, makes me more intentional about moving throughout the day.  I park in the last parking space, I make extra trips up and down the steps, I walk to the mailbox, instead of stopping the car on my way in and out.  I walk to the garden or chicken coop, rather than riding my Polaris.  It all adds up.

I'm pondering...  "Invest yourself deeply in what is instead of being so caught up in what you thought it should have been.  I think this is a recipe for a very present, very rich life."  Shauna Niequist
(From this excellent podcast.)  

I'm preparing... for the holy week of Easter, which will include; reading from the gospels, a trip to the temple, a passover meal, Good Friday dinner with friends, dying eggs, making hot cross buns, fresh flowers on Micah's grave, listening to sacred music and hiking to a mountain top to watch the sunrise on Easter morning.  I'll cook a wonderful meal and gather loved ones around my table to celebrate hope, peace and the glorious resurrection of Christ.  This is my favorite week of the year. 

Clementine Sugar Cookies

I've discovered that cookie lovers usually lean one way or the other in their preference for soft and chewy or crunchy cookies.  I like  soft and chewy cookies the best, as evidenced by my recipe file, but am willing to taste test all kinds of cookies, in the event that I might change my mind.  It's a sacrifice, I know, but I'm willing to make it.  

I have a favorite sugar cookie recipe that I blogged about here, and I use it whenever I want to make cut out shapes, like Christmas or Valentine's Day.  Those cookies can go either way, crunchy or chewy, depending on how long you bake them.  I usually under bake them a bit, because, you know, I like them chewy. 

Sometimes you want a sugar cookie that's fast and easy.  No rolling or cutting, just dropping on a sheet and being done with it.  This is that cookie.   But don't let the ease by which these are made fool you into thinking they're just a plain old sugar cookie, because they're definitely not.  These are made with clementines and that makes all the difference.  I've been buying these little gems by the bagfuls and they're tasty all by themselves for sure, but baking with them, I've found out is a good idea too!  These cookies are soft and chewy, coated in sugar, with an aftertaste of fresh citrus.  Doesn't that sound good?   Try them.  I think you'll like them. 

The first thing I do is zest my clementines, 

then I juice them.  

In a bowl, I mixed up the dry ingredients.

The softened butter and sugar go into the stand mixer.

After creaming the sugar and butter, I added an egg, the zest, a little orange extract and the clementine juice.  When that was blended well, I slowly added the dry ingredients.  

Using a small scoop, I made little balls of dough,

and dropped them into a small bowl of sugar, where I rolled them around until they were coated.

On to the cookie sheet they went and were baked for eight minutes.

Soft, chewy, awesomesomeness.  I've made way too many of these lately, but no one seems to mind when I send them off with a bag of cookies.  They freeze well too, and it's nice to have a little treat tucked away for that moment when you need a baked good to take some where or just want a cookie for yourself.  What's your favorite cookie?  Crunchy or chewy?    

Clementine Sugar Cookies

2 3/4 cups unbleached plain flour

1 t. baking soda

1 t. baking powder

1/2 t. salt

1 1/2 cup sugar

2 sticks unsalted butter, softened

1 large egg

1/2 t. orange extract

1 t. clementine zest

2 T. clementine juice

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.  Whisk together flour, baking soda, baking powder and salt

in a bowl.  In stand mixer beat butter and sugar until smooth and creamy.  Mix in egg,

orange extract, zest and juice.  Stir in flour mixture.  Roll dough into 1 inch balls.  Roll

balls in sugar.  Bake 8-10 minutes or until lightly browned around edges.  Let cool on

baking sheet one to two minutes.  Cool completely on wire rack.

You - My Favorite New App

There are so many things I love about my smart phone.  I check the weather, log my steps, take pictures, listen to books and podcasts, practice Italian, look at the constellations, listen to music, set alarms, read scripture, text messages, check emails and Facebook, oh and sometimes, I call people too.  And to think I resisted getting that phone in the first place.  I didn't need a smart phone, I kept telling myself.  Well, now I admit I would have a hard time getting along without it. 

One of the things I'm really enjoying lately is an App called YOU by Jamie Oliver.  Do you know who he is?  I used to love watching his cooking shows on PBS.  His recipes were simple, fresh and prepared in his lovely English cottage kitchen or outside in his garden.  His chef's attire was always a flannel shirt, jeans and a beanie.  He seemed like a regular, down to earth guy, with a great accent.  I liked that.  

Each day this app gives you a simple micro-action challenge.  I'm a big fan of making positive changes with baby steps.  Little steps can add up to big changes in the long run.  This is the way I approach most things in my life.   Exercising, reading new books, learning new skills, cleaning my house, losing weight, planning meals, gardening, etc.  Each day is a compilation of small actions that I hope will yield good fruit.  The app proclaims to help you live a happier and more fulfilled life, in a couple of minutes a day. That's a pretty big promise, but I've been doing this for a month now, and it's making me happier!  It's like Instagram (which is quickly becoming my favorite social media platform) with a purpose.  Let me show you some of the things I've been doing with this app on different days this past month.

   I took this picture of eggs that my friend gave me.

Something I'm really looking forward to is my trip to Italy.

I made some freezer meals for loved ones.

My motivation to move each day is clearly so I can eat more of the  things I love.

I accept that I have too many books waiting to be read.  This is just one stash.  I'm not normally into excess, except when it comes to books.  Here, I'm excessive.    

I cherish the memory of sitting in my grandmother's living room and having her teach  me how to make cathedral window quilt squares.

Today's action was trying to do something with your non-dominant hand, to engage your brain in a new way.  I decided to write out my to-do list with my left hand.  

Not only do I enjoy the daily challenges for myself, but it's fun to "follow" others and be a part of an international community of people who are all trying to improve themselves in some way.  This is a picture from Jamie's kitchen when he was cleaning up one thing.  And here's one from his challenge to explore the neighborhood with his family.  So cute.

I love seeing the world through the eyes of people living in other countries.   This photo was taken by a lady in Mexico.  Her tactic for killing the "Monday Blues" was to notice the beauty around her.

I've been picking up some great quotes too. 

This community is so positive and I love the encouragement that it's members share with one another.  On the day that I posted my Italy picture, I had a comment from a lady who lives in northern Italy sharing some insider tips on the things I might  like to see while I was in her country.  On the Kill "Monday Blues" day, I posted a picture and comment about my morning run and received some nice feedback.

 And this lady made me feel  much better about my chocolate treat.

If this kind of thing floats your boat, you should check it out.  And if you do, be sure and look me up so we can encourage each other.  I'm totally into it.