"...let us run with patience the race that is set before us."
Hebrews 12:1
I'm not an athlete. Never have been. In fact, I still have bad memories of high school gym class when we had to do the Presidential physical fitness test. Oh man, I hated that. Especially the pull-ups. Is it strange that I can still remember being the only one in my class that couldn't pull herself up to the bar? That was thirty-five years ago for pete's sake and it's still etched in my memory. Traumatized by gym class...
A year ago I started having an unusual desire to run a 5K. Unusual because, well, I don't run. But I thought it would be a great achievement if I could, just once. So I added it to my bucket list and started training. I put a Couch to 5K app on my phone and followed it faithfully for a few weeks. I remember how I could hardly run for three minutes when I started. I know. That's sad. Three days a week I was at the mercy of that lady on my phone telling me to walk, then run, then walk. I was starting to feel pretty good, until about the sixth week, when she told me I had to run for twenty minutes with no walking. What? Ok, she was no longer my friend and I deleted her from my phone!
I knew that if the training was too hard, that I would give up. I was willing to push myself, but I wasn't willing to kill myself! I decided that I would take as long as needed to get ready for my first race. Slow and steady was my motto, although I had no idea that would take almost a year. I ran at a park with a half mile loop and each week added a little more distance. 1 lap and a lamppost. 1 lap, a lamppost and to the gazebo. 2 laps. And so it went...
When it became unbearably cold, I resorted to running on my treadmill. Some days it took everything I had to make myself step onto that machine. I don't enjoy running on a treadmill. Is there anything more boring than running on a treadmill?
In February, I took a leap of faith and signed up for my first race. I posted this on my Facebook page...
I had two friends who said they would run with me. That made me feel a little better, because this was pushing me way out of my comfort zone. We never trained together, but I knew it would be encouraging to have someone with me on race day.
About halfway to my goal, I became sick and had to take a few weeks off. It was surprising to me how quickly I lost momentum and stamina from missing a few workouts. The setback was discouraging. I struggled with intermittent pain in my knees, ankles and heel. I think my body was trying to tell me I should have started this running thing about twenty years earlier. I began to worry that I wasn't going to be able to run my first race as planned. Looking back, I realize I was in what I call the messy middle, that place when you've been working really hard on achieving a goal and you're tired. I just wanted to give up and started thinking of all kinds of valid reasons to do so. I was injured. I was too old to start running. I had other things I could be doing with my time. It was a silly goal anyway. Who did I think I was? Certainly not a runner.
I had to dig deep to stick with it. I listened to running podcasts. Bought pretty new workout clothes. I changed up my running routes. As I think back on it, I think it would have helped to have had a running buddy, someone to help me through that time.
About a month from race date, my friend asked if I had good running socks. She thought this might help my heel problems. Running socks? I had no idea I was supposed to be wearing special socks. I went into the first sporting goods store that I'd been in since my kids played soccer (a long time ago) and discovered a display of all kinds of socks. Oh, my gosh. I can't believe I had been running all this time without them. I still had to cut back on my workouts so as not to do more harm to my feet, but I kept at it a couple of times a week and tried to add a little more running time each day. The first time I ran three miles without stopping I was so excited I did a happy dance. I didn't even care who was watching. This old girl had met her goal!
I couldn't have asked for a more beautiful race day. I was happy to see these friendly faces as I was more than a little nervous. Melanie had been sick for a week and I know she didn't feel like running, but she showed up and she ran. That meant a lot to me. This was a big day and I was happy to have these ladies share in making this memory with me.
I didn't know ahead of time what the route would be like, and it's probably a good thing I didn't, because I would have backed out for sure. So many awful hills. I hate hills. I hated those hills. I wanted to say bad words every time I came to one! Emily and Melanie both said this was a hard 5K, and they should know as they've run a few. I can't tell you how relieved I was when I crossed the finish line. My sweet husband was there taking pictures and cheering me on, as well as Emily and Melanie, because of course, they finished before me.
Here's the picture that says it all. See how Emily and Melanie have nice smiles on their faces. That's because they are real runners. Did I mention that they've both completed half marathons? Real runners like to run. Notice the grimace on my face. That's a "thank you God for letting me finish this race" look. That's a "I don't really like to run" look, BUT, I DID IT!
This is the "I can mark this one off the bucket list" smile.
As I think back on this past year, I realize I learned some important lessons.
* I can do hard things. Now, in all fairness to myself, I'm not really a couch sitting, sedentary person. I'm an active person. But running a 5K challenged me physically in new ways. It was hard, really hard, but I stuck with it and proved to myself that I can do hard things. I am not a quitter.
* The discipline required to achieve this goal spilled over into other areas of my life. Whenever I finished running I felt strong and empowered, ready to take on anything.
*Half the battle is just showing up, dressed and ready to go. Sometimes the greatest victory was just getting out the door in the morning.
*Slow and steady really does win the race. It took me three times as long as most people to train for a 5K. We all have to work at our own pace and that's ok. Comparison. It's real and it's damaging. Melanie and Emily both told me to run the race looking straight ahead. They said, "Don't look at the pregnant women, or men pushing strollers, or people older than you that pass you by. Just focus on yourself." Good advice.
*Celebrate every victory. I never focused on time when I ran. What I did focus on, was how much longer I could run today, than I could yesterday, or a month ago, or a year ago. That always made me feel better about myself. Progress, however small, brings me joy.
*Pushing myself out of my comfort zone is scary, but that's how I grow. I'm a bit of a perfectionist and am nervous about trying new things, because rarely am I good at something new. It takes work and practice and the risk of failure. I don't want to fail, so staying in my comfort zone is safe. This is why I have to push myself into unknown territory, but I'm always glad when I do.
* It's important to have people who believe in you and are willing to support you in your goals, no matter how crazy they may seem. Doing something hard is always easier when people you love are encouraging you along. My husband was my biggest fan. He wasn't just proud of me on race day, but every time I worked out, he praised my efforts. My running friends kept telling me I could do it and I believed them.
* Even though I can run (slowly), I'm not a runner in the true sense of the word. I kept waiting for that runner's high that you hear about to materialize and it just didn't. Most of the time I did feel good after I ran, but I didn't enjoy the process. I realized on race day, that the most fun I had that morning, was after I had said goodbye to my friends, downed my second bottle of water and had returned to the finish line. Clapping and cheering for those who were just completing their race, I was in my element. That made me so happy! I think rather than being a runner, I'm supposed to be a clapper. I am an awesome clapper.
Will I ever run another 5K? I'm not sure. It could be like having a baby... maybe in time you forget how hard it is and have the desire to do it all over again. But right now, this baby is only a month old and the memory is fresh. I've been walking a lot, taking yoga classes and focusing on restorative exercise. I feel content.
Good for you! I might have done it 20 years ago too, but having the triplets caused some permanent issues that can't bear running...so I have the perfect excuse! ;)
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