Keep it Shut - A Book Review, Or Two

Each month I try to read something (besides the scriptures, because that's a given) that will help me to stretch and grow a little in my discipleship.  In January I read this book , and it was excellent. 

Written by a LDS author, it helped me to understand more fully the doctrine of justification and sanctification, and how through the atonement of Christ, we can be changed and made pure by both.  When repentance is real, then it will include both justification and sanctification.  The author has a gift for explaining these doctrinal terms that have been a little confusing to me in the past, but this time made sense.  Because I can hardly wait to share my ah-ha moments,  I started telling people about the book and what I'd learned from it.  Then I loaned it to a friend who read it in one sitting and said it was the best thing she's read on the subject.  Now her husband is reading it too.  I love it when I stumble across something so unexpectedly good.   January's book was one of those tender mercies.

My "spiritual" book selection for February was Keep it Shut by Karen Ehman.  Karen's a speaker and author for Proverbs 31 Ministries.  I've enjoyed reading her blog posts from time to time, however this is her first book that I've read and I found plenty within it's covers that I could apply to my life.  In fact, this book fits in perfectly with my word of the year goals, which by the way is turning out to be the word that I really needed to be focusing on this year.  It was an inspired choice, I have no doubt.  

Learning to be a better listener, starts with keeping your mouth shut.  Knowing what to say, how to say it and when to say nothing at all is a very valuable lesson. I fail in this area pretty regularly, but I've been praying for help to improve.  May I share some thoughts from the book with you, some things that really resonated with me? (The italicized words in blue are all Karens)

"The mouth speaks what the heart has stored.  If we have a mouth problem, in actuality what we really have is a mind and heart issue.  The truth is, words are never accidental.  To be sure, there are times we utter careless words, but even then those words are first formed in our minds, filtered to our hearts, and then given permission to come out of our lips.  So in our quest to use our words in ways that are good and honor God, we must first consider the heart and mind from which they come."

"How I use my words, whether for good or for evil, can often, although not always, be traced back to the quality time I am (or am not) spending with the Lord each day, how intentional I am about investing in my relationship with him, and whether or not I am taking steps to become more like his Son, Jesus Christ."

What is the condition of my heart?  What are my motives?  These can be hard questions to ask, but essential to understanding why I say the things I say.  

"Beware of bragging- and the impact your good news could have on others.  Before we open our mouths, we need to think about not only to whom we're speaking, but also what they may be dealing with at the time and how the news might impact them.  The primary principle is to check your heart and motives before sharing a success or celebration.  Also, be mindful that -even if your heart is in the right place- how and when you share your news just might put a pinch in another person's heart, especially if they are sorrowful over the very thing about which you are rejoicing."

I'm sure I've been guilty of doing this, but I've also been the one who's had to listen with raw emotions as others celebrate joy in their life.  I've had to walk out of church meetings because the words coming from the pulpit have cut me to the core.  I'm not saying that it's wrong to testify of blessings, just that we need to be sensitive to the feelings of others when we do so.  

"Many verses in scripture affirm that our speech should be gracious.  When we choose to grant favor with our words or to lavish love on someone through our speech, we mirror Christ and his gift of grace.  Let your conversation be always full of grace, writes the apostle Paul (Colossians 4:6)."

"All the humans you encounter throughout the course of the day are 'on purpose' people.  God plopped them into your life for a reason.  These souls-whether they are of the easy-to-love variety or the scratchy sandpaper kind- can be used by God to mold, reshape, and sometimes stretch our souls as he crafts us into creations who are becoming more and more like his Son.  Others can catch a quick glimpse  of Jesus when they see us speak and act in ways that honor him and line up with God's Word." 

Here, I struggle.  I am not gracious enough with myself and I don't offer grace to others as much as I should.  I know this and if I didn't, I've been reminded at times by my loved ones.  I've also  learned over the years that expectations can seriously damage relationships.  The only person I have any control over, is myself and sometimes I'm not very good at that!  So... let it go.  Let those expectations go and just love.    

The thought that others might be judging my faith by my words and actions is downright scary.  Every morning I pray that I will always remember my Savior and plead to have His spirit to be with me throughout the day.  This is key.  Because left to my own devices, I'm sure to mess up royally, but if I  listen to His still small voice, I'm in good hands, and will do much better.  He knows exactly what I need to say to others and how I should say it.  And when I need to keep it shut.

There is a chapter in the book on gossip and one on controlling our digital tongue. Here's an area where I think many of us might use some improvement.  It often surprises me what some people choose to share with "everyone" online.  I loved these rules for the cyberspace playground:

*Pray before you post.  We should whisper a prayer before we post, asking the Holy Spirit to tap on our hearts if we are tempted to post anything online that would not glorify Him.

* Imagine the recipient sitting next to you.  Would you say things differently if the person to whom you're writing were actually sitting next to you?

* Remember: when you're online, you're also on stage.   This reality should certainly cause us to pause before we post- especially if there is even a remote possibility we might later regret what we write.

* Ask yourself if you've earned the right to address the subject at hand.  If friends on Facebook are hashing through a hot-button issue of the day, do you have any expertise in the area, or are you only slinging an under informed opinion?  We can't always be an expert on every topic at hand, so when we aren't, we might do well to refrain from commenting at all.

* When you do speak , let your speech be laced with grace.  Our words should glorify God and not just exalt our own opinions.  

I came to Facebook kicking and screaming.  I did not want to be a part of it.  Now, I feel differently.  Although I think social media can creep into our lives in unhealthy ways, I also believe it can be used for much good.  I strive to keep it firmly in the latter.  I am surrounded by good "friends" on Facebook.  Rarely, do I see a post that upsets me, but I know it can happen. I've even been guilty of offending a friend by something I posted.  Her comment surprised me so much, I promptly deleted the post, because even though it hadn't been my intention to say anything hurtful, it had bothered her and therefore might have the potential to offend someone else.  That wasn't a risk I was willing to take.

I won't agree with every post on Facebook, but as a Christian I have the responsibility to treat others with dignity and respect.  The spirit of contention is not of the Lord.  No need to be snarky or mean. This week I read these words from Elder Dallin Oaks, one of our church leaders, "Though we may disagree, we should not be disagreeable."  That's good counsel.

I want my words to be a blessing.  I want to be an encourager and that is my goal on social media and with this blog.  Sometimes I go through periods of time when I wonder why I blog.  I doubt my abilities to say anything of worth.  I don't feel as though I offer much in the way of original content, but most of the time I enjoy the process,  sharing my thoughts and life with those who read.  I follow blogs that encourage me and I guess I want to be able to do a little of that for someone else.  And, I want to leave some thoughts for my kids to mull over... one day. 

Obviously, we shouldn't always keep our mouths shut.  But when we open them, we should try to use our words to lift and encourage.  As a disciple of Christ, I want to be a witness of Him at all times, and in all things and in all places.  He would use his words to affirm and to bless.  He loved unconditionally.  I want my friends and family members to know by the words I speak to them, how precious they are to me.  Karen suggests that "we treat each encounter as new without referring to the past unless there is a really good reason to do so".   I think this is so important, especially in family relationships.  I mean, these are the people we have history with, and let's face it, it's not always good.  But each new day is an opportunity to make it good, if we try.

 If you've stuck with me to this point, you my friend, deserve a prize.  I may have gotten a little carried away here, but this was a good book!  I barely skimmed the surface, so maybe you'd like to get a copy and read it for yourself. (If you're local, you can borrow mine.)  I ran across this quote the other day and it seems like a good way to wrap this up.  The world would be a better place if we could all remember this.

 

Favorite Reads From 2014 and One Disappointment

I read some books last year.  Sixty-eight to be exact.  I enjoy keeping a list , so I can remember.  It's under the Books tab at the top of the blog.  In fact, anything I want to remember these days, usually finds its way onto a list of some kind. 

I like to imagine that in the future, my great, great grandchildren might be interested.  That's the kind of thing I would like to know about my ancestors.  I have a few books that belonged to both of my grandmothers and one of my mom's poetry books, with her notations in the margins.  They are precious to me.  

The books we read say a lot about the kind of person we are and the things we're interested in at different times in our lives.  When I go back to my 2012 list, I can see that I was rereading the Chronicles of Narnia series, and lots of classics.  I was in a Great Books discussion group at the time and was swimming in some pretty deep water.  I didn't understand half of what I read.  In 2013, I must have rebelled, because I was on a kid lit kick. That was the year I also discovered Shauna Niequist, and wanted to read everything she had written.  This year, well, I've been a little all over the place.  I've read two books by Jane Austin, several about St. Francis, some young adult fiction, short stories and poetry, along with the ones below.   They're in no particular order.

This is the third book I've read by this author.  I enjoy her writing very much.  So far, The Poisonwood Bible  has been my favorite, but I liked this one too.  My copy of her memoir, Animal, Vegetable, Miracle is dog eared and underlined throughout.  It motivates me to get outside and work in my garden.

This was a reread for me, as I had suggested it for our book club meeting a few months ago, and it had been a number of years since I had read it.  I liked it even better the second time around.  The ladies in the club loved it too, and we had plenty to discuss.  Some book discussions seem to fall flat, but everyone had something to say about this book.  It was a lively evening.

 This was one of my favorite kid lit selections.  I was surprised when I received it in the mail and it had a hefty 600 pages!  A  combination of pictures and prose make it a pretty quick read, despite it's size.  The story line is thought provoking.

I know very little about fashion and I'm ok with that.  But,  when I heard this book reviewed on NPR, it caught my interest.  I've wondered how some stores can sell clothing so inexpensively and after reading this book, now I know.  It may seem like a great thing, to buy a pair of jeans from TJ Maxx for $20, but there are serious ramifications to that decision.  This book made me think about my shopping habits, and want to be a more responsible consumer.  I don't need an overflowing closet of cheap clothes. 

This was a reread from my bookshelf, just because I love it.   I've talked our book club into reading this for one of our selections this year (it's taken me two years to convince them).  It's serious and beautiful and will make you cry and want to be a better person.  I got excited when I found a copy of this book on my Nana's bookshelf.  To think that I was reading something that she had read also, made me smile, and wish she was here so we could talk about it.

This is the true story of a nine year old girl and her librarian father, and their journey into books.  After making a promise to each other to read together every day, and never miss, they read for over 3000 days and ended their reading streak only when she left to go to college.  This isn't so much about the books they read, but more about how those books helped them navigate through family life.  I'm a big proponent of reading aloud to children of all ages and loved this book.

This is by far my favorite read of the year, but I already told you that back here.  You can scroll to the bottom of that post to read my thoughts, or just read the book.  I can almost promise you'll love it.

I had heard so much uproar about this series that I finally broke down and read the first book.  And, I didn't really love it.  I do love Scotland and historical fiction, but time travel, not so much.  I don't even object to a steamy romance sometimes, but this was over the top.  So, this is the book that disappointed me this year.  In a way, I'm glad though, because this lengthy series would monopolize my reading time and I have a number of stacks to work my way through.   Kenzie found this challenge and asked me to do it with her, and you know how I am about a challenge.  Let the reading begin!

Latest Reads

Ok, it's time to share some of my latest reads.  I tend to forget to do this and then I have a huge stack, and the thought of reviewing the books is overwhelming, so I just don 't do it.  This year however, I'm going to try to do this every couple of months, and it will be easier.  I get my list of "must read" books from the recommendations of others (you might see your name in this post), when titles are dropped in conversation, on favorite blogs and sometimes on Goodreads (when I remember to go there).  I love listening to Fresh Air on NPR, because Terry Gross often interviews an author, promoting his or her latest work.  I won't even tell you how many stacks of books are placed strategically all over my house, books that are waiting to be read.  I couldn't put them all in one place, because that would just be embarrassing, and my husband already thinks I'm a little obsessed.  However, this doesn't prevent me from adding something new to the Amazon cart if it sounds good.  I've also started pulling a previously read book off my bookshelf and adding it to the rotation. I'm trying to decide what needs to stay and what needs to go, because even I am beginning to realize there is only so much room in a house for books.  A good book won't make the cut.  It has to be a great book, that will be read again, for it to take up space on my bookshelves.  I have some classics that are the exception to that rule.  These are books that I hope I will "grow into".  A friend of mine recently reminded me, that in order to really understand a book, you have to read it more than once.  I have some that I think might take three or four readings, for me to begin to understand them.  But even if an initial reading brings only an introduction to a new thought, then it's been worth my time.  I think I'm better off than I would've been had I not read it in the first place.  Although, Lolita comes to mind and I think I would've been better off not to read that one.  Whew!  It may be a classic, but it was very disturbing. 

Even though I may have a bent towards a certain style of book ( like historical fiction), I try to throw a book in from time to time that might not be something I would ordinarily read. Gretchin Rubin's book club is good for this.  She is the author of the The Happiness Project and Happier at Home (both excellent books) and she offers an eclectic mix of suggestions each month.  I've linked all the books to Amazon, so you can learn more about them and maybe even decide you want to read one yourself.  You're welcome.

Okay, so here we go.  This is the second time I've read , Cry the Beloved Country (pulled this one from the bookshelf), and I loved it even more the second time around.  It's a fiction classic that takes place in South Africa.  Be prepared to have your heart strings tugged, or maybe ripped out, as you read about a Zulu pastor and his son Absalom, whose lives are affected by the injustices of apartheid.  There's a glossary at the back of the book that's helpful in understanding the Zulu and Afrikaner words.  The author's description of the geography of the area is so rich, I felt like I could see it for myself. My copy of this book is heavily underlined, there's so much good stuff here.  It's not light reading, but it's important reading.

I already mentioned Between the Lines back here, so I won't go into too much detail.  This was my spiritual pick for the month and I read it in the mornings, along with my scriptures.  Joseph Fielding McConkie is a gifted LDS scholar and this book has chapter after chapter of ideas on how to glean more from your time in the scriptures.  He says, "scriptures are meant to be read, consistently, in context and with the Spirit.  We cannot be blessed by principles we do not live; and we cannot live principles we do not know."  Not only does he share techniques on how to better understand the scriptures, but he pulls texts from their pages to demonstrate what he is teaching.  My favorite McConkie quote is, "The best commentary on scripture is scripture."   A great read for any student of the scriptures.

I love kid lit, and read quite a bit of it.  This month I read two great books.  Don't let the size of Wonderstruck fool you (626 pages), it's a quick read.  Over half of the book is illustrations, which draws you into the story as much as the prose. I think my sister Cindy, recommended this one a while back and I'm just now getting to it.  It may be the best book I've read about the challenges facing the  hearing impaired.  Interestingly enough the other book I read,  The Silent Boy, was about another young boy, this one, facing life with autism at the turn of the century.  Although that term isn't used in the book, today we would recognize it as such.  Unless you've had experience with either of these conditions, you might find yourself like me, appreciating the opportunity to see through a new lens. Lois Lowry, the author of The Silent Boy also wrote, The Giver, another one of my favorites.   

My nonfiction read was Boundaries.  I wish I had read this years ago.  Although the life of hard knocks has taught me a few things about learning to set boundaries, it would have been helpful to have learned the principles in this book an easier way.  And yes, I am one of those people who can learn from the mistakes of others.  I don't necessarily have to go through it myself, like some people do.   The book begins by discussing what boundaries are and why we need them.  Then the authors go into the possible conflicts that exist in families, at work, with friends and even with God and yourself, when boundaries are ignored.  The last part of the book teaches you how to set healthy boundaries.  I can think of a number of people who would benefit from reading this book and I may have to buy a few extra copies to hand out.  I know it's helped me and will be one that doesn't get pushed back on a shelf, but will remain on my desk to be used as needed.

I saved the best for last.  Thanks to Cindy, a Facebook friend, who recommended this last fall, I read and loved What Alice Forgot.   This was a "just for fun" fiction, that was just that, fun!  Once I started it, I didn't want to put it down. I had a few late nights until this one was completed.  When Alice falls and bumps her head during an exercise class, she wakes up to find she's lost the memory of the last ten years of her life.  Surprise, frustration and pain are the results of her quest to understand the person she has become and she struggles to pick up where she's left off, especially with her relationships.  I found myself asking a lot of questions as to what my life would be like if the events of the last ten years were erased from my memory.  How would that effect my relationships?  This book seemed to me to be all about relationships, about grace and forgiveness, with yourself and others.  It reminded me of the movie Regarding Henry, with Harrison Ford, which if you haven't seen it, you should put it on your Netflix list immediately.  I bet you'll be pleasantly surprised at the character he plays in this flick, which is completely unlike his other roles.

Okay, now it's your turn.  I'd love to hear what you've been reading.  Please share! 

Summer Reading - Part Two

If I didn't lose you yesterday with that tall stack of reading material, I'm glad you've returned for part two.  Don't worry, there isn't a part three!  In working on these posts, I've found it's almost as much fun to go back and think about each book as it was to read them.  Sharing my thoughts is like having a one sided book discussion.  When someone comments and I can respond, it's like having an online book club.  Facebook seems to work well for that.  I've enjoyed our conversations. Thanks for indulging me!  All titles are linked to Amazon, just in case you want to read more about them or make a purchase. 

Now, to finish this up- once more, from bottom to top:

*For Times of Trouble-  Another "spiritual book", this time by Elder Holland.   Who has ever listened to Elder Holland give a talk and not loved it?  He's just the best!  This book is filled with his thoughts on selected Psalms and the artwork is absolutely beautiful.  This is one that I'm sure I'll pull from the bookshelf again and again. 

*Living a Covenant Marriage - Encouragement and great counsel for those desiring to have a marriage last forever.  Even though I've had this book for years, I'd only skimmed over it's contents.  One thing I've been trying to do is work a book I already have in my personal library into my reading rotation.  My husband recently asked me if I was really going to reread all these books that I have stashed throughout my house.  Truthfully, I haven't done much of that, because I'm always wanting to read something new.  But if a book is worthy of taking up precious space in my house, it really should be one that passes that test.  As I reread books, I ask myself, "Do I love this book more than I did the first time I read it?"  If the answer is yes, it stays.  If not, I probably won't ever read it again and I need to make room for better selections, so out it goes.  I think it's a good plan.  This book is a keeper.  Written by a number of experts on marriage, each chapter is worthy of serious study.  How's this for good doctrine?
" A person needs to look within himself or herself first and make sure his or her heart is right with God before attempting to change a spouse.  Pride on the part of one or both marital partners is a major contributor to unresolved differences, primarily because individuals who are selfish or proud will not repent or make changes that could improve the relationship.  Humility, repentance, and a willingness to apologize are indicators of genuine discipleship and charity and are an essential ingredient to achieving a truly Christlike relationship.   Perhaps the greatest charity comes when we are kind to each other, when we don't judge or categorize someone else, when we simply give each other the benefit of the doubt or remain quiet.  Charity is accepting someone's differences, weaknesses, and shortcomings; having patience with someone who has let us down; or resisting the impulse to become offended when someone doesn't handle something the way we might have hoped.  Charity is refusing to take advantage of another's weakness and being willing to forgive someone who has hurt us.  Charity is expecting the best of each other."
After thirty two years of marriage, my husband and I, don't have this thing totally figured out.  Marriage can be hard sometimes, and that's all there is to it.  It takes constant work. 

*$aved- The subtitle reads, "How I Quit Worrying About Money and Became the Richest Guy in the World."  This was an unusual read.  I don't even know where I came across this book, but it sure gave me some things to think about.  The author answers questions such as: How does money really work?  How does the financial industry literally create money out of thin air?  How can a bankrupt society move forward?  How can people live below their means and find happiness and contentment, while living in a consumer and debt driven society?   And the one question that I thought was the most interesting and worthy of real contemplation- 
How many people take the time to consider if any particular purchase is worth not just the money, but the portion of their life represented by the money?  I agree with many of the principles in this book, even if I did get a little bogged down with the Economics 101 chapter.  I could tell he was really trying to explain a confusing subject in as gentle a way as possible, but my eyes start to glaze over when listening to people talk about the Federal Reserve and GDP growth.  It's just not my thing.

*The Road to Assisi- After listening to Michael Wilcox speak on St. Francis of Assisi at Education Week, I decided I wanted to learn more about this famous Christian.  According to Brother Wilcox, St. Francis is one of those 10 Great Souls he wants to meet in Heaven.  This essential biography was informative and interesting.  Francis loved the Lord and wanted more than anything to live as Jesus taught his disciples.  Walking away from his family wealth and taking on a vow of poverty, He never intended to found a religious movement, but he did.  After learning more about him, I understand why he was and continues to be beloved by disciples of Christ.  

*The Sandburg Treasury- This book included Rootabaga Stories, Prairie Town Boy( an autobiography of Sandburg's early years), Wind Song and Early Moon (an anthology of Sandburg's poetry) and Abe Lincoln Grows Up.  I love "kid lit" and usually read it while I work out on the treadmill.  Because I live near the Carl Sandburg Home and it's one of my favorite places to while away the day, I'm inspired to become more familiar with his writing.

I enjoyed reading about his childhood years, growing up in Illinois and how life on the prairie influenced his writing, especially his poetry.  

Carl loved telling stories and believed American children should have some suited to their ideals and surroundings.  Rootabaga Stories are about simple people and common objects.  They are completely nonsensical and the quicker you figure that out the easier it becomes to give yourself up to spending time in Rootabaga Country.  Having seen some of these stories acted out in the summer playhouse, I enjoyed reading the complete collection.  Although, some of them are just plain weird.  My personal favorite is The Wedding Procession of the Rag Doll and the Broom Handle and Who Was In It.

*Katherine Paterson Treasury included  Bridge to Terabithia, The Great Gilly Hopkins and  Jacob Have I Loved.  I couldn't pick my favorite from these, but since they were all contained in one volume, I'll just say this was my favorite "kid lit" selection of the summer.  I know I'd seen the movie form of a least one of the these, but it does not do the story justice.  I loved these books and really, everyone should read them.  Because they deal with real life, coming of age issues, that we can all learn from or relate to in some way.  Delightful characters, delightful books.

* Rascal- Making a Difference By Becoming An Original Character  This was a nonfiction selection about great achievers and what makes them willing to step out of line and pursue their dreams, not necessarily conforming to mainstream behavior.
"Rascals are known by what they do. Their unique character produces fruit different from that of the vast majority of people. They are unique, but not for the sake of uniqueness. They don't conform, but not for the sake of nonconformity. They are rebellious, but not for the sake of rebellion.  They sometimes become famous and receive recognition, but not for the sake of fame or accolades.  Rather, they seem to respond to the calling of an inner voice; one that stands for principle and justice.  They commit to their beliefs. They may sacrifice their peace and affluence, their lives and fortunes, but never their sacred honor.  Rascals embolden those around them and attract others who aspire to such heights of courage and character"
This quote worthy book was full of ideas that made me think about qualities and characteristics common among great people.  A good mentoring book.

*To Try Men's Souls is a historical fiction (love these!), taking place in a crucial point in American history.  George Washington, Thomas Paine and others come to life as these patriots fight for independence.  I was so into the characters, I could feel the pain of the winter winds cutting through them as they prepared to cross the Delaware.  I could sense the despair among the soldiers, who were cold and hungry and just wanted to be home with their families.  And the courage... wow, the courage that these people possessed.  It was a great book and after hearing the author, William Forstchen speak (think One Second After, you know the book that scared the crap out of you- yeah, that William Forstchen), I knew I wanted to read this book.  He's also written fictional books on Gettysburg, Pearl Harbor and other periods in history.   I'm going to have to check those out too.

* A Tree Full of Angels This is the second book I've read by this author.  My first introduction was with Seven Sacred Pauses, a book I keep close by, so I can pick it up and read from it whenever I feel the desire to strengthen my ability to pray with real meaning.  Written by a Catholic who is a member of a monastic community, I love her thoughts on spiritual awakening.  A Tree Full of Angels is more of the same.  A little booklet with lots of inspiration.  I've underlined, not just sentences, but paragraphs of wise words by this author.  Whenever I read spiritual books by authors not of my faith, I know there will be things I won't agree with from a doctrinal standpoint.  But I've found when I am searching for truth, I can find it all around me.  This book is an example of practices that can bring us closer to God.  I pick and choose the ones that speak to me.

Thanks for sticking with me through these last two posts.  Reading is one of my passions, so books seem to be a part of many of my discussions.  One of the things I love about this season of life, is that I have time to read.  So, my bookish friends,  I'd love to hear what you've been reading.  Do you have a book that's really impacted you in a positive way?  A favorite from your summer reading?  Please share!   

Summer Reading - Part One

As I've been looking back on my summer, I realize I've had my nose in a book much of the time.   Aside from my trip to Utah at the end of May, I didn't do any traveling and since it rained most of the rest of the summer, I was indoors a lot.  There are worse things than getting lost in words, so I'm not complaining (not much anyway).  Okay, I guess I did my fair share of whining about the overly abundant rain, but other than that...

I like to read books on all kinds of subjects, and usually have at least three or four going at a time.  Depending on my mood, I'll indulge in fiction, nonfiction, biographies, etc., sometimes all in the same day.  I think that might be a little unusual, but it works for me.  So this summer I've gone through a hefty stack and I have my favorites.  Since I get most of my recommendations from friends and blogs that I visit, maybe some of my reading would be of interest to you, too. Goodreads is a great idea, but I just can't remember to update my page.  I'm glad my friends are better at it than I am, because some of my reading comes from their ratings. I've linked my favorites to Amazon, in case you decide you just have to have one of them.
Starting at the bottom and moving up- 

*Behind the Beautiful Forevers - This narrative nonfiction is the story of a makeshift settlement near luxury hotels in Mumbai. The author spent three years gathering her information from families who survive by sorting the garbage wealthy travelers leave behind. I enjoy learning about other cultures and I really know little about India, so that's why I picked this one.  It was heartbreakingly sad and reminded me of how grateful I am for my comfortable life.
   
* Homemade Pantry-  You can go here to read about this book.  It's  the first selection for my cookbook project.  And if you don't want to check out the link, just know I loved it!

*  A Whole New Mind - This is my favorite nonfiction book of the summer.  From the back cover:

" Lawyers. Accountants. Software engineers. That's what Mom and Dad encouraged us to become.  They were wrong.  Gone is the age of "left-brain" dominance. The future belongs to a different kind of person with a different kind of mind: designers, inventors, teachers, storytellers - creative and empathetic "right- brain" thinkers whose abilities mark the fault line between who gets ahead and who doesn't." 

This left-brain dominate girl, found this book fascinating reading.  I loved the suggestions at the end of each chapter, giving ideas on how to strengthen the right side of your brain.  Because even though you might not be born this way, you can train yourself to use the right side of the brain more often.  I think this would be great reading for every parent and teacher. My husband is seriously right-brain dominate and all our children lean that way as well.  It will probably be good for them that they took after their dad in this area!

*Open Heart, Open Home- A classic book on Christian hospitality.  Sprinkled liberally with scripture, this was one of the "spiritual books" I read this summer.  I like to keep one of those going at all times.  The author says, "Hospitality doesn't try to impress, but to serve."  That's the main idea that I took away from this book.  I enjoyed it.

*Cold Tangerines - Here's my favorite "spiritual book".  This was a new author to me and I loved her!  "A collection of stories about God, and about life, and about the thousands of daily ways in which an awareness of God changes and infuses everything."  That's what this book is all about.   I found myself smiling and nodding my head in agreement as I read it.  I really didn't want it to end.  Loved it!

* The House at Rose Creek - This was my pick for favorite fiction.  Does it matter that the author is a family friend and used to babysit my children?  Nope!  I would've loved it anyway.  But how fun it's been to share in the excitement of this debut novel.   It's sweet and tender, yet speaks to the importance of faith and relationships.  It's really a great book.  We read this for our book club meeting and had the author come and discuss it with us.  It was a lovely evening.  You can get to know Jenny a little better here.

* Living Your Covenants Every Day-  I picked this book up when I recognized the author as one of the instructors I most enjoyed,  when I last attended Education Week at BYU.  She was a motivating speaker and I've adopted her "30 Day Challenges" for myself over the past year.  One of these days I'm going to post about those.   I was excited to see many of her thoughts from Education Week included in this book.  It's a good reminder of the importance of living our covenants daily and she gives lots of ideas on practical ways to do that.

*Wonderstruck- This was a really great "spiritual book" too.  Maybe it ties with Cold Tangerines as one of my favorites.  I enjoy authors who invite the reader to awaken to the wonders of God in their lives.  I've read many books that speak to this subject and each time I do, it helps me to improve a little on this discipline.  

*Life is So Good-  I like to throw a biography in my reading rotation on a regular basis.  There is so much we can learn from reading about other people's lives.  This one was wonderful.  I had read it a couple of years ago, but since it was a book club selection for our group, I reread it, and loved it even more the second time around.  George Dawson tells his story of learning to read at 98, and reflects upon his life and the lessons he learned along the way.  I've marked my book up, underlining what I've called "Georgisms" or nuggets of wisdom from George.  A most inspiring and feel good book!  Read it.  You'll love it.

* All Quiet on the Western Front- While  thrifting with my sister Cindy one day, she came across this book and asked me if I had read it.  I said no, and she tossed it in my shopping basket, saying, "It's good.  You need to read it."  Okay.  It was only fifty cents.  I probably should've had some idea of what I was getting myself into, but I was clueless.  If you don't want a spoiler- stop now.  This was the most depressing book I think I've ever read.  It was good, but utterly depressing.  When I finished it late one evening, I sent Cindy a text and said, "Next time you want to suggest a book for me to read, could you find one a little less depressing?  Maybe one where every character doesn't die!"  It's a war book.  What did I think was going to happen?  She was right though, I did need to read it.  And she never said it was an uplifting book...

I have a few more, but this post is long, so we'll finish this up next time.

Why I Love Father Tim and the Folks from Mitford

When life seems crazy and when I feel tired, discontent or a little bit ornery, I like to curl up on the couch for a few hours and go to Mitford.  I know Mitford isn't a real town, but I want it to be and I want to live there!   Visiting this mountain town and it's residents is like a breath of fresh air to me. I get completely caught up in the lives of Father Tim, Cynthia, Dooley and Puny.  Then there's Miss Sadie, Uncle Billy and Rose Watson, Emma and Esther.  I love them all!  This book just makes me smile...

That's why I suggested it for a recent book club meeting.  I wanted to read it again and I wanted all my friends to get to know these characters for themselves.  I knew we would have a great time discussing the book and there would be so many options for refreshments.  There's a lot of good eating that goes on in this town!  In fact, there's even a cookbook that has recipes for all the delectable Mitford fare.  I thought purchasing this would help me decide what to  prepare and since I have a slight weakness for cookbooks, it was amazing how quickly I talked myself into it.   It is a great cookbook though and it's almost as much fun to read as the novel.

 After this latest reading, I've been trying to decide what it is I love so much about this series.  Oh, did I mention there's nine books in the series?  (Yes, and I've read them all. )  Here's what I've come up with.

*First of all, Father Tim is adorable.  I love his sweet, kind manner, his desire to serve his friends in Mitford (those who belong to his parish and everyone else too), his humility and graciousness.  The first  page finds him arriving at his office, uttering the prayer that he's offered at it's door every morning for twelve years, "Father, make me a blessing to someone today, through Christ our Lord, Amen."  Wouldn't the world be a better place if we all said that same prayer each day?  This book is full of people showing love to one another and meeting each other's needs.  

*This make believe town is small enough that people can walk to their destinations.  In fact, Father Tim gave up his car for Lent and for seven years, walked everywhere he needed to go.  I once lived in a small town in Vermont and because we were young marrieds and poor, found myself in a similar situation.  We only had one car and Mark drove to work most days.  If I wanted to go somewhere, I put Travis in the stroller and we walked.  Our quaint little town had a village green and the longest covered bridge in Vermont.   It was really wonderful.  Gosh, I could go back and live that time over again.  

*People correspond with each other through letters.  With life moving at a hectic pace, to receive a handwritten letter is truly a gift.  Father Tim's Bishop sends him hand written letters and the joy with which they are received is touching.  I feel excitement when I pull a card or letter from my mailbox.  I know someone has sacrificed time on my behalf, when it's so much easier to send an email or text.  Those forms of communication have their place, but a thoughtful hand written letter can be enjoyed over and over.

* Friends in Mitford entertain each other around the dinner table.  Having a dinner party is another simple pleasure that seems to have gone by the wayside in our busy lives.  Taking the time to plan and prepare a meal and sit down with friends to eat is one of life's greatest pleasures.  A pot of homemade soup and a loaf of bread can be a feast with the right company.  I want to do more of this.

*Time in nature is seen as necessary and restorative to the soul.  When Father Tim needs a much needed break, he takes a walk in the woods or visits his friend's farm where he can be outside and enjoy nature.  We miss so much when we don't step out of our doors and breathe in fresh air and turn our faces to the sun.  

* Faith in God is central in the lives of the folks of Mitford.  Even though some might find this story too sweet and idyllic, there are a number of difficult and real life issues that some of the people are struggling to overcome.  A child and his siblings who have to be placed in separate homes because their alcoholic mother can no longer care for them, a woman dying of cancer, a lonely widow and a thief who is running from the law are just a few of the situations in which Father Tim finds himself involved.  He seeks inspiration on behalf of each of them and helps them turn their problems to the Lord.  I love the constant reminder that God is in control.

*People make time for each other.  Whether it's lunch at the local diner or a visit on the front porch, people take the time to talk with one another.  Today's "friends" are becoming names and pictures on a Facebook page, while real friends are genuinely interested in each other's lives and having face to face conversations.  Again, I think busyness is the enemy to relationships.  It takes intentional effort to step outside of our agendas and spend real time with someone else. 

*Reading is valued.   Father Tim loves C.S. Lewis, Oswald Chambers and poetry by Wordsworth. He likes to hang out in the local bookstore and discuss great books. He keeps a commonplace book where he records his favorite quotes and thoughts from others.  I don't think there's one mention of anyone watching tv in this series, although I'm sure they do.  These folks are into living life, not watching others live life on the screen.  

*Hard work is considered a virtue.  People in Mitford don't expect a handout, they work for what they get.  From Father Tim's hard working housekeeper to the young Dooley who works after school to earn money for a much desired bicycle, everyone is hard at work on something.  

*The folks in Mitford take care of their own.  One of my favorite parts of the book is when every church is represented at Homeless Hobbs shack for Thanksgiving, bearing gifts of food for the poorest in Mitford.  The sick are visited in the hospital and the elderly are ensured comfortable homes.  The folks look out for one another, just as they should.  

I don't know about you, but I would love to live in a place like this.  I guess I enjoy life a little on the old fashioned side.  I know, I know, this is just make believe, but couldn't we try harder to make our own towns a little more like Mitford?   This is what we talked about at our book club meeting and I for one plan to work on each one of these areas.  After discussing the book, we sat around my dining room table and indulged in Esther Bolick's famous Orange Marmalade Cake.  As I spent the afternoon making the cake, I thought it couldn't really be good enough to be worth all the trouble- three "from scratch" layers, soaked in orange syrup, layered with orange marmalade, with a whipped cream frosting.  But the first bite proved me wrong.  It was definitely a delicious cake worthy of Mitford fame.

Life in June - Daybook Entry

Outside my window...sunshine, glorious sunshine.  The butterfly bush is full of purple blooms and really big this year.  I think we should have pruned it back in the fall....  Pink roses, daisies and lots of weeds in the flower beds.  Who has time to weed flower beds? 


I am wearing...red button up cotton shirt and new cropped khakis from Eddie Bauer. I do like the way their pants fit, how well their made and how long they last.  And I'm down a size since last summer and that makes me really happy.


I am listening to...the washer and dryer and someone scrounging for something to eat in the kitchen.


I am thankful for... the juiciest and sweetest cantaloupe that I'm eating as I type this.  I love melon season!  I haven't bought a watermelon yet though - with the prices hovering at six dollars a piece,  I think I'll wait a while longer.   The mountain laurel is beginning to bloom on the driveway and the little tomatoes that are growing on my tomato plants bring a smile to my face. 


Around the house...I'm trying to work on cleaning out the office area in the basement.  I've misplaced some very important papers that I felt sure were there.  I've fretted, fussed and stressed to the point that I've made myself sick over the "lost recipes", (which I hope aren't like the "lost manuscripts" and will actually be recovered).  I'm praying powerfully that they will show up soon, all the while trying to not lose hope that I've lost family heirlooms.   The more I work, the madder I get that I ever let things get that out of control in the first place!  I have twenty five years of photos, scrap booking materials, homeschooling resources and more in that small space.  It's past time to do something about it. 


I am loving... the longer days.  And I saw the first lightning bug last night - a sure sign of summer.


I am hoping....well, more than anything to find the recipes.  I'm also hoping for answers to some hard questions.


I am reading.... Uncle Tom's Cabin.  Never read it before and felt like I needed to.  I just finished To the Rescue - the biography of Pres. Monson which was wonderful.   I think that one will deserve a post all it's own.  Also read The School of Essential Ingredients, and The Sunflower, which is the book club selection for this month.  They were easy and light reading and I enjoyed both of them.  I listened to a book on CD when I took a little road trip last week and loved it.  These Is My Words is a fictional journal account of a pioneer woman and her family as they settle the Arizona Territories.  The narrator was delightful, so I'm glad I listened to it, but there was so much "quote worthy" material that I ended up buying a copy of the book for myself...and the next two in the series.  I hope they are as good as the first one.   I'm rereading A Place at the Table as I eat breakfast each morning.  I have much I can still learn from this one.


I am creating...a vegetable garden - a really big vegetable garden!

I am pondering... 

"Don't hyperventilate about something that happened at 9:00 in the morning when

                               the grace of God is trying to reward you at 6:00 in the evening."        

   Elder Holland

This is just one little snippet from an excellent talk in April's General Conference.  I realize that I  never understood the Parable of the Laborers before this talk...thought I did, but I really didn't.  I have listened and read this one over and over again.

I am learning... that it's so easy to slip back into bad habits.  During my lenten fast, I cut out sugar and processed foods and felt great.  At the end of that time, I felt like I was in the healthiest place I had ever been in my relationship with food.  Yes, food and I definitely have a relationship. But in the last few months I've found myself backing off on my "once a week sweet treat" commitment and sneaking in a candy bar here and there (they are really good candy bars!). Chips,crackers and other processed things have found their way back into my grocery cart.   And I've gained five pounds.  So, I'm embarking on another forty day fast to get myself back on track.  Don't worry, I won't be going hungry by any means, but I will be going without sugar, processed foods and meat.  Yeah, I decided to cut out meat and see how I feel.  If ever there is a good time for me to take a trial run with vegetarian food, I figure it is now, with all the fresh fruits and veggies available.  We eat a lot of meatless meals anyway, so it will just be a matter of adding a few more in a week, right?  During this fast, I will take a break each week on Sunday and eat whatever I want, meat and sweets included.  I'm hoping to get my eating habits back on track and grow spiritually at the same time.  


From the kitchen... I've made blackberry scones (twice) with our berries and oh, man, were they good!
And I made that Best Lemon Cake Ever for Father's Day for my sweetie.  He declares it his favorite.  


Living my faith by... recommitting myself to early morning scripture study.  Something about summer makes me lazy and undisciplined.  It takes more effort to get up early.  I always say I will study later in the day, but it doesn't happen.  To be faithful to this discipline, I have  to get up early.  It's just the way it is (same thing for exercise).  After reading President Monson's biography, I want to focus more on people.  Showing love and concern and rescuing those in need is how he lives his life.  He follows the example of the Savior to minister to the "one" and I want to work on that as well.  We have one more Primary training session this Sunday and our conference trainings are over for this year.   Then we will visit units and help out as needed.  Being with the children each Sunday is one of the Lord's tender mercies to me.  He knows how much I miss having little ones around my house.  


One of my favorite things... the thrill of pulling carrots out of the garden.  It was exciting, each one a different size and shape. 


In the garden...so much is going on in the garden.  All the plants are in the ground.  I ended up with 25 tomato plants, five rows of string beans, okra, squash (bunches of different kinds), four varieties of potatoes, cucumbers, pumpkin, eggplant, leeks, onions, peppers... I think that's all!  I harvested the carrots and the garlic.  Yes!!  The garlic turned out great, another first for me.  I have a new tiller, compliments of my husband, that is small enough that I can operate it myself.  Now, hopefully I can do a better job keeping up with the weeds.


Around the farm... well the big news is the bees have swarmed and we put them in a new hive.  That was exciting and I'll post about that later.  My poor chickens look pitiful, as they have lost so many feathers.  We are still trying to figure out what on earth is wrong with them, as we've treated for mites and they don't look much better.  They still turn out the eggs...but I want pretty chickens!  That is so prideful isn't it?  We had a great crop of raspberries and blackberries and the blueberry bushes are loaded.  Just waiting for them to turn blue...and hoping the birds don't eat them first.


A few plans for the rest of the week... gardening and working on the basement will be the priorities. Finish stringing the beans, dig some potatoes and make a potato salad are on my list.  I hope to catch up on some blog posts.  I have lots of ideas, but no time to sit and work on them.  I'd like to take a hike and view the world from the top of a mountain and maybe a bike ride over the weekend?


A picture thought...

Gifts from the Sea

Walking along the beach, the gentle sound of waves breaking on the shore speaks to my soul.  As I breathe deeply, I can just feel the stress washing away.  Sometimes I don't even realize how the pressures of life have built up inside of me, until I've removed myself from my "world" and stepped into this one.  I've come to realize this is something I need.  For me, a trip to the beach is therapeutic.

As I pack my bags for my journey, along with the swimsuit and sunscreen, I tuck in this book.  It's also part of my therapy.

I can't tell you how many times I've read this little gem, because I've lost count.  But I have to read it while I'm at the beach.  It's a tradition, and I'm big on traditions!  (At that very moment, I caught myself singing "Traditions" from Fiddler on the Roof in my best Tevye voice).  Once I forgot to bring it along and had to search out a copy at the local book store.  Now I have two copies.  It's a quick read, but each time through, I learn something new.  Or I'm reminded of something I've forgotten.  On my latest visit to the beach, I actually read it twice while I was there; the first time at a quick pace ( I couldn't help myself) and the second time, much slower, so I could really think about what I was reading.  I love this book!

It was published in 1955, yet the author's words may be as relevant to women today as the day she wrote them.  While vacationing on a Florida beach, she drew inspiration from the shells she found as she walked the shore.  The shells helped her think about her life as a woman, including her roles as wife and mother.  She was grappling with some of the same challenges we all face: finding balance and contentment in each stage of our life.  When I read this book as a young mother, I thought of how dreamy it would be to take off to the beach, sans children, and have hours to contemplate my life, as Ms. Lindbergh had done.  Well, that was only a dream, but as I read her musings, I realized I could learn from her experiences.

When I had teenagers and read the book, her words about solitude and taking care of ourselves resonated with me.  That was a hard time, and I could only handle the challenges, when I had fortified myself first.  Now as an empty nester (well, almost), I find other truths that speak to me from her writings.  This book is really for women of all ages.

The shells she found on her beach, were different from the ones I found on mine.  Each one is lovely in it's own way.  In the chapter entitled, "Channelled Whelk", the author speaks of finding balance in her life.  As she talks about her desires to be a good wife to her husband, a good mother to her five children, proficient at her craft as a writer and ably carry out her obligations to the world around her she says this:

"But I want first of all - in fact, as an end to these other desires- to be at peace with myself. 

 I want a singleness of eye, a purity of intention, a central core to my life that will enable me to

 carry out these obligations and activities as well as I can.  I want, in fact- to borrow from the

 language of the saints - to live "in grace" as much of the time as possible.  By grace I mean

an inner harmony, essentially spiritual, which can be translated into outward harmony."

Gift from the Sea, pg. 17-18 

Isn't that lovely?  To live "in grace" is what I seek after as well.  She offers some techniques of living that can lead to this state of living "in grace" that I like.  The first one is simplification. She admits that the life she lives does not lead to simplicity. Being a wife and mother "entrains a whole caravan of complications". 

"It involves a house in the suburbs and other household drudgery or household help which wavers between scarcity and non-existance for most of us.  It involves food and shelter; meals, planning, marketing, bills and making ends meet in a thousand ways.  It involves not only the butcher, the baker, the candlestickmaker but countless other experts to keep my modern house with it's modern 'simplifications' (electricity, plumbing, refrigerator, gas stove, dishwasher and numerous other labor saving devices) functioning properly.  It involves health, doctors, dentists, appointments, medicine, spiritual, intellectual, physical, schools, school conferences, car pools, extra trips for basketball or orchestra practice; tutoring; camps, camp equipment and transportation. It involves clothes, shopping, laundry, cleaning, ,mending.  It involves friends, my husbands, my children's, my own, and endless arrangements to get together; letters, invitations, telephone calls and transportation hither and yon.  What a circus act we women perform every day of our lives.  It puts the trapeze artist to shame."

Gift from the Sea - pg. 21-22

Boy can I remember feeling this way.  In my naivete, I though that when the kids were raised and out of the house, my life would be so much easier.  In some ways it is, but where is all that time I thought would magically appear?  I'm still struggling to balance my time wisely.  Good, better, best.  Decisions need to be weighed out and only the best can come out triumphant.  I suppose I will be doing this the rest of my life and from this text message that I received from my dad this week, it sounds like it doesn't get easier as you age.   "Life has gotten busy for everyone.  I thought when I retired everything would be slower, but seems that is not the case.  Let me know when we can get together."  Spending time with my dad definitely falls into the "best" category and I'm determined to make this one happen.

So how do we simplify our lives in the midst of seeming chaos?  As the sea animal sheds it's shell, so Ms. Lindberg suggests some things we might be able to shed from our lives.  Things such as distractions,  pride, our Martha-like anxiety about many things, our Puritan conscience about absolute tidiness and cleanliness and insincerity.  She says, "The most exhausting thing in life, I have discovered is being insincere.  That is why so much of social life is exhausting; one is wearing a mask.  I have shed my mask."   I had never thought about shedding insincerity, but that's what eliminating pride is all about, isn't it?   Learning to be humble and content is a great gift.  I love these thoughts:

"To ask how little, not how much, can I get along with.  To say- is it necessary?-when I am tempted to add one more accumulation to my life, when I am pulled toward one more centrifugal activity."

A Gift from the Sea - pg. 28-29

Yes, that is the question isn't it?  I am all about simplification these days. 

In the next chapter she discusses the moon shell and the need for solitude.

"Solitude, says the moon shell. Every person, especially every woman, should be alone sometime during the year, some part of each week, and each day.  How revolutionary that sounds and how impossible of attainment.  To many women such a program seems out of reach.  They have no extra income to spend on a vacation for themselves; no time left over from the weekly housework for a day off; no energy after the daily cooking, cleaning and washing for even an hour of creative solitude.  is this then only an economic problem?  I do not think so.  Every paid worker, no matter where in the economic scale, expects a day off a week and a vacation a year.  By and large, mothers and housewives are the only workers who do not have regular time off.  They are the great vacationless class.  If women were convinced that a day off or an hour of solitude was a reasonable ambition, they would find a way of attaining it."

 A Gift from the Sea - pg.42

I can't agree with this enough!  I'm grateful that when I had small children, I could rely on family and friends to help me get away on occasion.  Vacation is so important!  I find when I'm starting to feel grumpy or discontent, a few days away can drastically change my outlook.  Going somewhere beautiful where I can soak in God's beauty is good medicine.  And sometimes that doesn't have to be too far from home.  But sometimes, distance is good.

 "Actually these are among the most important times in one's life - when one is alone.  Certain springs are tapped only when we are alone.  The artist knows he must be alone to create; the writer, to work out her thoughts; the musician, to compose; the saint, to pray.  But women need solitude in order to find themselves; that firm strand which will be the indispensable center of a whole web of human relationships. She must find that inner stillness which Charles Morgan describes as the 'stilling of the soul within the activities of the mind and body so that it might be still as the axis of a revolving wheel is still."         

A Gift from the Sea pg. 44

Are you beginning to see why I value this book?  It is chock full of truths, from which I can ponder and hopefully glean solutions to whatever particular challenge I'm facing.  As I read it, I feel I can slow down and enjoy my life a little more.  I always close the book feeling inspired, like I've just had the most amazing visit with a woman who "gets me".  That's why it's good therapy and why I need to read it each year.  The next time you go to the beach, maybe you would like to spend some time under an umbrella with the ocean breeze blowing on your face, reading this little classic book.  And if you have little ones scurrying all over, enlist someone else to watch them for you, while you read.  I promise it will be time well spent.   And then walk along the shore and pick up a few shells of your own to take home as a reminder of the gifts you've received from the sea.  I picked these up on my recent trip to the shore and whenever I see them, they remind me of the lessons I relearned while reading this book in a most beautiful place.  I feel refreshed and blessed.