Learning to Take the Time

We're well into January and I've yet to blog about my goals for the year, which is very unlike me.  I love this time of year, fresh with so much potential, but I'm having a hard time moving on from 2016.  I just keep reflecting on that year, the good and the bad.  My phrase, "take the time", was very helpful in keeping me focused on the important.  Turns out that most good things in our life require time and effort, like developing habits and talents and nourishing relationships.  Of course, I think we all know that, but don't always want to invest the time necessary.  I know I don't.  I want a healthy body, but would rather sit in my favorite chair and read a book than get up and get those 10,000 steps in.  I want a picture perfect garden, but would rather do almost anything other than weed.  I want to be accomplished at knitting and quilting, but it's hard for me to step away from other things and devote time to improving in those areas.   I want to do the things that are easy, and those things aren't easy for me.  I want to be a good wife, mother and friend, but that takes work and time.

These are all the things I was thinking about when I chose my phrase last January.  I knew I needed to be reminded often to be  intentional in "taking time" to do the things that are really important to me.   Often, as in every day.  Here's how I did it.

In my planner, on each daily page, I wrote "take the time" in a place where I would see it and remember it.  Sometimes I would choose an activity that I wanted to take the time to do that day and write it in.  On other days, I would wait until the end of the day and look over my activities to see if I had taken the time to do something important.  Looks like I had to remind myself to take the time to plant fall bulbs, because I love spring flowers.  I don't necessarily love to plant bulbs in the fall though, because I'm tired.  I'm tired of gardening, period.  But... I want flowers in the spring.

I often think of something nice that I want to do for someone, but too often it is just a thought.  Reminding myself to "take the time" to mail a gift to someone, moved me to action.

Taking the time to make memories is one of my favorites.  That should be easy, right?  But I often feel pulled to get the work done, rather than stopping to just go have fun and make memories.  After all, the work will be here when I return.

Taking the time to hike has been a gift I give myself as often as possible.  The benefits are huge.  I've made wonderful new friends, strengthened my body and being in nature nourishes my spirit like nothing else.  But, every Friday, I have to decide if I'm going to take the time to do it, or if something else is going to be more important that day.

One of the best habits that I've established this past year is my morning routine.  Taking the time to drink water, pray, read, study scripture, spend time with my husband and eat a healthy breakfast gets my day off to the best start possible.   I don't even want to miss one thing, because I can tell a difference when I do.

I took the time to devote one afternoon a week, for months, to learning how to quilt from a wonderful teacher and friend.  I completed two projects- a table runner for myself and a baby quilt for my granddaughter.  I would have never done that on my own. Had I not taken the time to leave my house and go get some good lessons, those things would still just be dreams.

I took the time to practice hand lettering and doodles in my journal.  I have absolutely no natural talent in this area, but with practice, I do well enough to make myself happy.

I remind myself that it's worth it to take the time to make food from scratch.  It tastes better, is healthier and less expensive and feels rewarding to know that I can do it.  I can make hamburger buns and granola and yogurt and artisan bread and pizza and...  It just takes time.

Looking back through my journals, I can see the following things that I took the time to do:

*write thank you notes

*learn more about mental health

*take a girls weekend to Charleston

*knit a hat

*attend BYU Women's Conference

*plan menus

*read the Book of Mormon

*go on a family vacation

*walk the dogs

* visit with neighbors

*try out some new restaurants

*attend the temple

*write letters to missionaries

*volunteer at Patriot Camp

*teach primary children

*grow vegetables

*blog

*attend an Easter sunrise service

*bullet journal

*take an online course

*make breakfast smoothies

*send birthday cards

*love on my family

*keep a gratitude journal

*make pasta

*take pictures and make photo books

* visited with friends

*daily yoga practice

* read lots of books

*walk on the beach

* trot in a 5K

*cook with friends

*walk in the woods

*climb mountains

*picnic by the river

*listen when I wasn't interested

*serve when I was tired

*made new friends

*learned new things,

almost every day

There are lots of things that I didn't take the time to do, that I wish I had.  Most of those have to do with spending more time with the people I love.  This year I will try harder to do that.  My phrase for 2017 is "invite and inspire".  I want to be open to accept invitations that will bring me joy and opportunities for growth.  I want to surround myself with things and people that inspire me to be my best self.  I want to invite others to make memories along side me.  I want to love better and bless more.

I think I'm ready.

Take the Time

Do you like to think of a "word" for the new year?  A word that helps keep you focused on your hopes, desires and plans for the next twelve months?   I've done this for a while now and enjoy the exercise.  My words thus far  have been Grow, Grace, Family,(this one rated two posts.) and Listen.  I've tried to come up with a word for 2016, and I've had a few possibilities, but they didn't feel just right to me.  The best I can do is come up with three words that keep rolling around in my head.  So, this year I have a phrase, and it is,
  

Take the Time.

As I get older, I think more and more about time, and the responsibility to use it wisely.  Seems it can be a friend or foe, depending on the day and my circumstances. This is the double nickel year for me.  Yep, I'll be turning fifty-five, and though I don't get bent out of shape about my age, it is a reality check that time is moving on and my days are numbered.  I want to use the time allotted to me in the very best way I can, without regret.

Five years ago, when I turned fifty, I did this crazy experiment of setting fifty goals of things I wanted to achieve in that monumental year,  and I started a blog to track my progress. That was super scary, as I knew so little about technology.  It was a good challenge though.  I taught myself the blogging basics and humbly put it out there, unsure what would happen as a result.  It's a little

embarrassing now to go back and read some of that stuff, but it's my life and I'm glad I took the time to write about it.  That's the main reason I continue to blog.  It's one of the most interesting ways I know to journal the ins and outs of daily life.  My year of fifty turned out to be one of the best years of my life, because I was intentional with my time, always thinking about those goals and how I could achieve them.  I made new friends and amazing memories along the way, and a number of the things I tried have stuck and become a regular part of my life (like photography, blogging and yoga). 

This past week I've devoted time to thinking about goals for the new year.  Unlike some people I know, goals is not a dirty word to me.  In fact, I thrive on them.  I sat down and did a quick brain dump and very quickly came up with a long list of things I'd like to accomplish, like more than fifty-five!  But I'm holding it to that number, because it correlates with my age, and I think that's fun. I seriously doubt I will get them all done, and that's ok. This kind of thing doesn't make me feel pressured in the least, it simply

motivates me. 

Now, back to my phrase for the year - take the time. I'm going to try my best to "take the time" to grow in all areas of my life.  Too often I catch myself saying, "I don't have time...(fill in the blank)" and that's not true.  At this season in life, I'm blessed with time.  I have the same twenty-four hours a day that everyone else has and the luxury of filling that time as I see fit, or as directed by God, because above all I seek to do His will. It's a priority thing, and sometimes that can be difficult to figure out.  Having this phrase, take the time, helps me to think about my choices and decide what I want or need to be doing on any given day.  What is most important?  Just this past week, I have redirected myself on a couple of occasions, when I thought that I was too busy to something.  I really did have the time, I was just choosing to do something else instead.  A wise woman taught me that we can not do all the things that our hearts desire.  Not even all the good things.  As disciples of Christ, we trust that the Lord will guide our days and bend our hearts to comply with His will.  When we do the necessary things that bring us closer to Him, He will bless us with time to do many of the other things that we would like to do.  Just plain old fun things, that bring us joy, because He delights in blessing us. 

(Photo Credit:Rebecca Wray.  She not only makes beautiful babies, she takes good pictures too.) 

The List 

(Oh, how I love a good list!)

1- Keep up with my gratitude journal.

( I started this way back here and continue to find value in the discipline.)

2- Start the day with scripture and prayer.

( The best part of the day!)

3-Attend BYU Women's Conference

(Look out Sagers. Here I come.)

4-Read the Book of Mormon.

(again)

5- Use a Bullet Journal.

(I'm loving this new way to plan/journal.)

6- Work on hand lettering.

(To make #5 look better.)

7-Read fifty-five books.

( I have taken a drastic move and banned myself from purchasing any 

new books this year.  I am going to read from the huge stacks of unread

 books sitting around here, or from the library.  I will however continue to 

use my Audible account and accept gifts. :)

8- Learn to knit mittens.

(I've got dishcloths, hats and scarves down pat.  I've

knitted one pair of socks, although I have no idea

how I did it.  This year, I'm moving on to mittens. 

Maybe eventually, I'll go back to socks.)

9- Spend lots of time with my grandbaby!

(This one's going to be so hard.  NOT!)

10- Plan and execute a family beach vacation.

(I may be the only family member who shows up, but it's going to be fun!)

11- Grow a new variety of dahlia.

( I waited too late to dig up the dahlia I planted last year, 

so I'm starting from scratch. So sad.)

12-Master making my own sauerkraut.

(The last two attempts have not been successful.)

13-No scrolling on screens after Mark gets home. Put the phone away!

(This one's going to be hard.  It will require much discipline)

14-Blog three times a week.

(Or when I have something worth saying.)

15- Backpack on the AT with Dillon and Jantzen.

(I so hope this happens.  I'm wanting to hike the Georgia section.)

16-Participate in as many Friday hikes as possible.

(Oh, how I love my Hiking Club!)

17- Eat less meat.

(Because I know it's better for me.)

18- Continue my yoga practice.

( One of the best things I can do for myself.)

19- Reinstate weekly date nights.

(Mornings or afternoons. We did so well with this for a while...) 

20- Make pasta once a month. 

(Dusting off the pasta machine)

21- Learn to make gingerale.

( I heard a podcast about this and I'm intrigued.)

22- Take a math class.

(Yuck.  But I really need to do this.)

23- Start teaching a series of cooking classes.

( So nervous about this one.  The fear of failure is real.  Would anyone come?)

24- Create a quilted project.

(Notice I didn't say a quilt.  I'm starting small.)

25- Organize photos.

(How many years have I been working on this one?)

26- Make a book from my Year of Fifty blog.

(Because I need to preserve all the work that went into this.)

27- More visits with extended family.

( Putting it on the calendar is the only way it happens.)

28- Float the French Broad in a  canoe.

( With my husband.  See #19)

29- Take an interesting road trip.  

(Go somewhere I've not been before.)

30- Find a way to volunteer in the community.

(Something that makes my heart really happy. I've got some ideas.)

31-Walk the dogs and visit with neighbors.

(Two for one.)

32- Make homemade dog biscuits. 

(They're worth it and I have a cool bone shaped cookie cutter.)

33- Make menus each week. Work on eliminating food waste.

(Food waste makes me crazy.)

34- Find a green smoothie recipe that I like.

(It can't taste like grass.)

35- Learn more about aromatherapy.

( I want to know what to do with those essential oils.)

36-Walk, sit and read on a beach.

(Maybe fly a kite too.)

37-Work on end of life plans.

(How depressing.)

38- Take lots of pictures. Lots.

(Learn more about light and food photography.)

39- Attend at least four cultural events.

(Plays, the symphony, art exhibits, etc.)

40- Learn to make soap- the old fashioned way.

( Lye. Yikes!  But I'm ready to move on from the pour and mold soap.)

41- Learn to identify birds by their calls.

(I don't know why.  I just think it would be neat.)

42- Renew an old friendship.

(I have a few people in mind here.)

43-Go geocaching.

( This sounds so fun!)

44- Write letters to missionaries.

( I have the incentive to be better at this, because one of 

my dearest friends is leaving soon on a mission.)

45-Attend the temple monthly.

(Another thing that only happens for me when it's a 

regular planned event.  Always time well spent.)

46-Learn to make pretty pie crusts.

( I would dare say I have the best pie crust recipe around, 

but my pies aren't pretty.  I want to make pretty pies.)

47-Participate in a money saving challenge.

( For my travel fund.)

48- Look people in the eye when I'm talking with them.

(Just a little personal defect that I'm aware of, and wanting to do better.)

49- Bone up on some technology skills.

(Learn how to use Evernote.  And try to figure out the Cloud. 

 What the heck?  I just don't get the Cloud.)

 50-Start a cookbook project.  Blog it.

( Pulling cookbooks off the shelf and trying new recipes 

on a regular basis.  I got three great ones for Christmas!)

51-Get new chickens and try again.

(Maybe...  I want to do this.  I miss having chickens.  I don't miss the work.)

52- Grow lots of wonderful vegetables in my garden.

(I need rabbits to stay away from my beets

and peaches not to get brown rot.)

53-Learn to make cheese.

( I really, really want to do this.)

54- Clean out storage areas.

( I really, really, don't want to do this,  

but I will be so happy when it's done.)

55-Try out a new restaurant each month. 

(Oh boy! I just love goals.)

Ready. Set. Go!

Listen

Listen.  This is my word for 2015.  If you are confused about this whole word thing, you can go here, where I explained why I sometimes choose a special word at the beginning of each year.  And here is a post about last year's word.   

Shhhh.  Be quiet.  Listen.  This is what I want to do more of this year and I'm already excited about the prospects.  I'm learning to slow my pace.  I say I'm learning, because it's not my natural tendency.  I'm all about productivity and to me that usually means, hit the floor running early in the morning and don't slow down until it's time to hit the sack.  A Melissa in motion, tends to stay in motion.  Not really what Newton meant in his Law of Inertia, but it's worked for me.  And if it's worked, you might wonder why I would want to change things up.

First of all, I believe each day is a gift, and I don't want to waste any of that precious time.  For this reason, I'm a planner.  I've learned from experience that when I don't plan, the things I want to do or should do, often don't happen.  Also, I'm a bit of a control freak, which is an improvement upon the huge control freak that I used to be.  Funny, how life's experiences teach us that even when we think we are in control, we're not.  I heard a speaker say once, that it must make God smile at times to watch us planning out our lives so strategically.  And then He probably says, " Now that looks pretty good, but this is what's really going to happen."  I've learned to plan out my day and then pray about it.  I pray to have the grace to go with the flow, especially when it turns out to look anything but what I had planned.

I'm still going to be that type A girl who sets goals and plans her days.  Just read on.  You'll see.  This is the way Heavenly Father made me, so it can't be all bad, right?  But I'm working a little margin into my life.  (Have you read this book about margin? - so good!)  I don't really have to over plan every day.  In fact, I could actually under plan it a little.  Some of the most lovely things happen when you aren't expecting them.  It's hard to really listen to anything when you're in an activity whirlwind, surrounded by noise and people.  Margin can help balance this condition. 

Here comes the planning part.  To be intentional about my word for the year...

* I will try to start each day with quiet time.  "Be still and know that I am God."  To me, this means sitting in my favorite chair and not only reading scripture and pouring out my heart to Him, but listening to Him speak to me.  Too often, I say my prayers, full of thank you's and please help me's, and then jump up and move on to the next thing on the list.  Oh, how I want to stop doing that.  I need to just be still and listen!

* Try to visit the temple as often as possible. Sit in the celestial room and listen.

* I will listen to the counsel I receive from my leaders and determine how I can be faithful to their words.  Just this Sunday, I heard a leader counsel me (and everyone else in the congregation) to have scripture study with my husband,  to support through prayer our new Stake Presidency, and let the atonement help me with the challenges and hardships I face in life.  Because I listened, I left that meeting convicted about some changes I needed to make.    

* When I'm with others, I will try to talk less and listen more. Instead of thinking of what my response will be to what's being said, I will just listen.  Have you ever noticed how difficult this is?

I will try not to interrupt others while they are speaking.  I do this too often.  Just ask my daughter.

* I will try to listen with my heart and not judge others.  Enough said. 

* I will slow down to smell the roses, really, I will.  And listen to the birds, the rain, and the other beautiful sounds that nature offers, but I'm often too busy to notice.

* I will listen to beautiful music, music that uplifts and inspires and  maybe, even music that I might not find beautiful, but could learn to appreciate, if I really listened.

* I will be a better friend, one who is available.  Sometimes I hesitate to call a friend, when I would like to, afraid that I might interrupt their schedules.  I expect others might feel that way about me too.  I want "my people" to be more important than any "to do" list.  I would love it if my friends could say about me, "She is a good listener."

* I will try to listen to what people are saying, even when they might not be saying it, by looking at their faces and their body language.  The still small voice is the best interpreter, helping me know what's needed when I might not know myself.  Learning to listen to that voice, takes a lifetime of practice. 

Ok.  That's it.  I think it's a good word.  I'm excited about where it might lead me this year and how I might grow in the process.  I've shared my plans, now I wonder what the Lord has planned for me.

How about you?  Have you ever chosen a word for the year? 

A Year of Family

Last January I wrote this post about my "word for the year".  Seems like I just blinked my eyes and here I am a year later, thinking about a "word" for 2015.  Before I get into that though, I want to pause and reflect on family, because that was the word I chose.  I had hoped to spend lots of time with those I love the most and strengthen relationships along the way.  I wanted to savor special moments, discover new things and celebrate some of the highlights of family life.    

I love my family so much, and want to be with them, but to be perfectly honest, it's not always easy.  These are the people who've seen me at my best and worst, and vice versa.  The ones I want to hug one minute and possibly wring their necks the next.  Just kidding.  Sort of.  Heavenly Father knew we needed to be in families.  This is where we get to practice patience, forgiveness, unselfishness, long-suffering and charity.  We're really just a bunch of sinful people, trying to become a little less so.   I wouldn't want you to think otherwise.  The beautiful thing about a family, is that in the midst of all of this, we find pockets of real joy.   As I look over my pictures and journal entries for last year, I am reminded of how very blessed I am.  There have been many, many happy moments for which I'm eternally grateful. 

Life is loud and busy, and pulls in many directions.  Every day we have to make decisions about how we will spend our time and energy.  Family members are all in different seasons of life and it can be tricky to make time to be together.  Back in January, that time when all those paper goals look so attainable, I set some lofty intentions and was determined to make them happen.  I would spend more time with my husband.  We would take a vacation.   I would have the kids over for family meals on a regular basis.  I would visit my dad monthly.  I would check in with my adult kids every week.  I would take time to get away for a mother daughter weekend.  I would spend time with my sisters, visiting Sherri in Utah and meeting up with Cindy at least every other month ( after all, she lives so close).  I would try to visit my brother's family during the year.  I wanted to become more involved in my nephews lives.  I would have mom and dad Wray over more often, maybe a Sunday meal once a month.  I would remember birthdays and celebrate anniversaries.  I would be the best mother of the groom you ever saw.  I would.  I would.  I would... 

You get the picture, right?  The weeks flew by and they turned into months and wow, it's hard to make all those things happen.  But having a "word for the year" helped me stay focused and reminded me that if I wanted something to happen, I needed to plan it and put it on the calendar.  That approach yielded some great results.  Along with the "planned" activities, I learned that I could often capture the fringe moments, and make them special too.  Sometimes the unplanned events can be the most memorable.  Tender mercies for sure.

So, here's a little photo recap of some of my favorite "word of the year" moments from 2014.  

I'm grateful for each day with this good man.  

My kids.

Travis and Rebecca's wedding was a beautiful time, when all our family came together to surround the happy couple with love and best wishes as they started their own family.  That weekend was a blur for me, but as I look back on it, I have fond memories of watching my kids interact and feeling support from my extended family who came from near and far to be with us.  And most importantly, I gained a daughter.

I had numerous occasions to be with my dad and stepmom.  (she must have been behind the camera on these).  I especially enjoyed this visit to my Nana's farm.  So many precious family memories have been made here over the years.

Father's Day visit

Oh, there she is (my stepmom) along with my sister and nephew.

A rare photo op with my niece who lives in Virginia.  I was so happy to have her at the wedding.

Sister pictures

I made that trip to Utah!

Helping my nephew build his first gingerbread house.

And can't forget my puppies, who turned 2 this year.  

Even though she's awfully busy, my sister in law and I carved out some time to be together.

And good friends, who are like sisters to me, make me smile whenever they are around. They get me, you know?  And I always feel better after having been in their company.

 2014 wasn't all smiles and definitely had it's share of challenges, but these pictures remind me that God is good and loves me a lot.  I let these two scriptures be my guide this past year.  Of course, I fell short at times, but thank goodness for the gift of repentance.  

" A new commandment I give unto you, that you love one another as I have loved you..."

John 13:34

"  Be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity. " 

 1 Timothy 4:12

Yes, God is so very good.

P.S.  Our family will be growing in 2015 as Travis 
and Rebecca welcome their first child.  I'm going
to be a grandma! Get ready for some baby pictures.